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cheapbag214s · Posted: Thu 17:35, 05 Sep 2013 Post subject: What I don want for Christmas

What I don want for Christmas
IT'S a tough question once you reach "a certain age" (over 35), and kind of have everything you need: "What do you want for Christmas?"
I never seem to have a good answer, as I've gone off perfume - having finally realised other people could smell it - already have too many shoes,[url=http://giuseppezanottiweddingshoes.webmium.com/][b]giuseppe zanotti wedding shoes Shop[/b][/url], kind of like choosing my own clothes, and could never be called "short of an accessory".
I cook a lot, but I'm just as happy with our 15-year-old pots and pans (and our one posh Le Creuset wedding present casserole dish that's been used about 2427 times). I don't care that the glasses,[url=http://kevindurant4shoesforsale.blogspot.com/][b]jordans shoes sale[/b][/url], cutlery and cups don't match and I certainly don't need tea towels - that's not a real present anyway. We've enough scented candles to make even the vets smell sweet and I buy all my creams cheap online.
So what do you buy the person who really does have everything, including at least 30 queued up, unread books?
As of now, I still don't know what I want, in a material sense, at least. So, to gently nudge my loved ones away from the usual array of traps for people-attempting-to-buy-stuff-for-people-over-35-with-everything, I've prepared a handy list of a few stand-out items that I'm kind of hoping not to find under my own tree. And quite frankly, I'd be quite surprised if you wanted to see them nestled under yours:
A BENADICTAPHONE. You may think this is a natural choice for a journalist,[url=http://giuseppezanottiweddingshoes.webmium.com/][b]http://giuseppezanottiweddingshoes.webmium.com/[/b][/url], or anyone else who likes to make a novelty verbal note, but a voice recorder shaped like Pope Benedict XVIs head (with key-chain attached) might make that quick shopping list,[url=http://woolrichoutletde.albirank.net/][b]Woolrich Online Shop[/b][/url], or column idea, feel more like a guilty confession.
A FULL-sized throw rug featuring the boy band N Sync, or a Justin Bieber, Bieber Fever alarm clock (surprisingly easy to find online).
ONE of those hideous knife stands that is moulded to look like a man standing up - with six knives stabbing right through him. I can't believe people actually buy those.
A RIVERDANCE boxed set. I admit,[url=http://duveticavestesfr.halod.com/][b]Doudoune Duvetica[/b][/url], I was a bit transfixed by the jaunty tapping for about 20 minutes, but that ship has sailed.
ONE of those extremely trendy, but completely ridiculous Jil Sander "paper bag" handbags that cost $350 and completely sold out after they debuted on the European catwalks in August. Yes, they really are just coated paperback, like a lunch bag with a scrunched over top. I don't get it.
A CHANEL Hoola Hoop handbag,[url=http://rogervivieroutlet.webmium.com/][b]roger vivier australia store Buy Roger Vivier Shoes In Roger Vivier UK Online Shop[/b][/url], as nutty as the Jil Sander one, only dearer. The full-sized Hoola bag (yes a leather half circle pouch supported by two hoops) was "the most talked-about item on the Chanel spring/summer 2013 catwalk", according to Vogue. But even the scaled down model is $2400. Mad.
A COIN wallet made from a part of a male kangaroo that the kangaroo would definitely miss,[url=http://parajumpersparkamen.webmium.com/][b]Woolrich Parka Parajumpers Jacket Canada Goose Outlet Online[/b][/url].
A PAIR of big fluffy slippers in the shape of a pair of Converse sneakers. I was given these once. They were funny for five minutes,[url=http://discountparajumperssaleonlinestore.webmium.com/][b]http://discountparajumperssaleonlinestore.webmium.com/[/b][/url]. Landfill,[url=http://cheapsoccercleatswithfreeshipping.webmium.com/][b]cheap soccer cleats for sale[/b][/url].
ANOTHER copy of Don't Sweat the Small Stuff. Haven't gotten around to reading the first one I was given yet- and that's starting to worry me,[url=http://discountparajumperssaleonlinestore.webmium.com/][b]Parajumpers Jackets On Sale[/b][/url].
AND these go without saying, but just in case; a back scratcher,[url=http://kevindurantshoes5forsale.blogspot.com/][b]jordans 5 for sale[/b][/url], massage sandals, a cocktail shaker or any kind of novelty ice tray. Oh, and 50 Shades of Grey.
But, on the other hand, when I Googled worst Christmas gifts ever, I was quite surprised to find that there were several items listed in various places that I'd be quite chuffed to receive. Including:
A SNUGGIE. You know, those fleecy, kind of wearable sleeping bags like you put your baby in (with arms),[url=http://discountparajumperssaleonlinestore.webmium.com/][b]Parajumpers Parka Online Store[/b][/url], that you can just slob out on the couch in. What sane person would turn their nose up at that.
A BOXED set of Knight Rider DVDs. Come on, no way should that be on a "worst gifts" list. That and Magnum PI, on a rainy day,[url=http://kevindurant4shoesforsale.blogspot.com/][b]jordans shoes for sale[/b][/url], in the Snuggie.
A BRIGHT red computer key with the word Panic on it. Fun (and in my case, also practical).
A BANANA guard or banana bunker. They're plastic banana-shaped boxes. Seriously, a thing that protects your handbag from getting a smoothie in it,[url=http://cheapsoccercleatswithfreeshipping.webmium.com/][b]cheap soccer cleats[/b][/url], what's not to like?
A TOP Trumps-style game called Plop Trumps,[url=http://duveticavestesfr.halod.com/][b]duvetica vestes paris boutique[/b][/url], which is not a joke, but a carefully written and containing no offensive language, fascinating and informative set of trump cards, each featuring facts and figures about species and their poo. We go to the bush a bit and an Australian version of this would actually be quite useful. Plus, it's a game simple enough for me to win when I'm "versing" the kids. Oh, and I would most definitely really appreciate a good old fashioned foot spa. Happy Christmas.
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