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Irish males are too cowardly to be flirtatious
YOU'RE relaxing in a pleasant pub having a handful of friends, feeling beautiful and self-confident. Your new dress emphasises just what it's suppose to, your old shoes look great enough and you are sipping a second glass of wine. The conversation with your friends is simple and fun and the whole situation enables you to feel good. Occasionally you appear around, wave to someone that you realize YOU'RE relaxing in a nice pub having a couple of friends, feeling beautiful and self-confident. Your new dress emphasises just what it's suppose to,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], your old shoes look great enough and you're simply sipping a second glass of wine. The conversation together with your friends is easy and fun and the whole situation enables you to feel great. Occasionally you look around, wave to someone who you know and then . . . you come across a set of intense-looking eyes. A guy across the room attracts your attention. He looks fantastic! He examines you. He examines you again.
Somehow,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], your spine is straightening, you cross your legs and slightly touch your hair.
Suddenly you realize that your vision continue to be attached to his face,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and you quickly turn your face in the other way. A few momemts later, you're doing so again. Just to find out if he is really that gorgeous. Oh, yes, he's! For a split second he catches your skills and that incredibly intense moment makes you feel trapped in another world. You turn your face again, and subsequently time you appear at him, you smile, and that he smiles back.
There you have it now. First contact has been manufactured. From this moment you just have to sit and wait for him to approach you. Within the next hour you are going to look at him three or four times and smile, as well, and wait. You are going to wait for a next three hours and that he is not extending its love to have a step in your direction. At the end from the evening he isn't that cute anymore (in fact his nose is crooked and there is hair growing from this) and you simply leave, never to see him again. This is a good version.
The other version is the fact that after the first smile, he approaches you, and asks: "Can I purchase a drink?" You say: "No, thanks, I have one." He persists: "Oh, let me buy you another one." You ask: "Are you trying to get me drunk?" He says: "Let's have fun. Have another drink," and that he gets you another glass of wine, even if you do not want it. By having an elbow on the bar,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], he's looking at you like you are naked and asks: "So how are you?" You say: "Fine." He asks: "Would you like another drink?" You soon realize this conversation won't develop into anything except "having a drink". After his fourth pint,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], he suggests a visit to his apartment. "No thanks (you moron)," you say getting up to visit home, disappointed and feeling a little bit cheap.
In another version, he approaches you, talking like it's the last day's his life. You can observe he's sweating and spitting on your make up while his face has become redder and redder. During this performance, his friends in the other corner are laughing closer. And you think about: what the heck is wrong with him?
Without a doubt the truly amazing truth about men: they're scared. The first one thinks: "It is much better not to try,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. I'll fail."
The 2nd you need a glass or two, then everything he is doing looks cool, and in case of embarrassment he won't remember it the following day.
The third the first is just performing for his friends. They provide him the security he needs so badly. Around the globe,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], men are frightened of the role that society has created for them. Fear of failure is biggest of all.
I've always thought that in Ireland, women would be the dominant gender. And that's why I
'When you grow up in a Mediterranean culture, flirting is one thing that you simply learn when you're really young'
think men are even more scared here than in another parts of the planet,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Whenever you grow up inside a Mediterranean culture, like Used to do,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], flirting is one thing that you learn when you're really young and you use it all the time. My pal said: "I flirt in any situation where I'd like something from someone. And contains nothing to do with gender, only sometimes with romance. It has to do with inviting someone else to play with you, in a context."
But there's also the fact that for the reason that culture, you never actually forget your gender. Therefore, as a woman, you almost always expect compliments, admiration, hand-kissing and so on. You flirt all the time, and it has nothing to do with achieving a boyfriend or having meaningless sex. It's a game. The guidelines are pretty straight forward and everybody ought to know how to experience.
For the reason that particular culture, men know that flirting doesn't really mean anything. Nobody will enable you to get wrong. It only means that you emphasise the fact that you are women, plus they are men. For a long period I thought that Irish females would prefer this kind of approach. I had been wrong. In Ireland, women are direct and know exactly what they want. As my friend says: "I don't want this, 'your hair smells beautiful' superficial crap. It's offensive. I want to be treated just like a person. I'm not going compliments, they embarrass me. When I was in Italy, I felt harassed as though I was a target for males."
I had been shocked. Because after i am treated as "a person," I feel like yet another drinking buddy of his. And when we're still conscious after 16 pints, we are able to provide together (preferably in his apartment). And when I flirt with my "target", he thinks that i am some type of a promiscuous foreigner or an easy lay. I quickly have a problem.
And Irish guys have a problem bigger than mine. How's it going, in this state of mind,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], ever likely to discover the courage and the right words to score with your "target" when she's a dominant, "no superficial crap" woman? Maybe by stopping being scared. And inebriated.
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