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How To Improve Communication in Marriage,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]
Communicating with a spouse can be tricky and when you throw in the stresses of everyday life, it can feel downright impossible. Here are a few tips to help navigate the process:
Ask. It seems simple enough, but often times couples fall into the trap of believing their partner should just "know" what the other is thinking. You both may enjoy many activities together,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but psychicness may not be one of them! If your spouse seems agitated or upset,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], ask if anything is troubling them. Sometimes they themselves may not know yet,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], so ask them to think on it and get back to you (in a reasonable amount of time, of course).
Listen. Having good listening skills is one of the best ways to become a great communicator. By listening to your partner you show them you truly care about what they have to say. After you ask a question, really listen to your partner's answer. If you find that difficult (don't we all?),[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], then rephrase it back to them. For example,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], "So are you are saying that you believe time travel is possible because of the magnetic field?" You will be shocked by how quick and effective this technique is.
Participate in activities that aid communication. Let's be honest: Communicating can be very difficult. While one spouse is feeling pressured to be charmingly witty at every turn, the other may be rushing to fill any silence with loads of useless tidbits. Blame does not have to be assigned here,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], as it is no one's fault. Actively try not to let communication become a power struggle; for example don't say things such as,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], "You don't talk to me because you don't love me." Instead,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], take the pressure off by doing an activity that facilitates communication. Watch a movie together that gets you both talking, such as the latest Harry Potter installment. The movie you choose is not important, but asking questions such as, "What do you really think about the plot?" or "Do you really think demolishing that building is possible?"
And it doesn't just have to be with movies. If something catches your eye when reading a newspaper or magazine,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], share it with your spouse. Read a bit of the article back to them and ask what they think. This may help you realize that discussions can be fun. Even though this sounds counterintuitive, it works in tandem with the guidelines above. By doing this,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you actually build on the bond you have as a couple and foster a sense of closeness. This in turn may help both of you open up and tell one another what is on your mind. For example,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], offer to scrub your partner's back the next time they take a bath or lace those sneakers up and take to the tennis court.
Do some research. In the telecommunication age, information is literally at your fingertips. Remember how your partner Googled that small red bump on his back? Well,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], apply that same line of thinking to your marriage. There are copious amounts of research written on communicating in marriage. Try Men are from Mars,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Women are from Venus by John Gray or Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples by Harville Hendrix.
Workshops and retreats. Participating in a workshop or going away on a retreat can be an eye opener for both of you. It will afford you the opportunity to discuss and be counseled by professionals who have dedicated their careers to this very topic. Moreover,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], speaking with these professionals may go a long way in uncovering any underlying issues that may be a problem. This is a great step to creating and maintaining a healthy marriage.
Share a good laugh. Laughing goes a long way in smoothing out occasional bumps,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but with the stresses of everyday life,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], forgetting how to laugh with your partner becomes very common. Put the breaks on the hassles and go to a comedy club and whoop it up or find another way to have fun. Tease one another in a good-natured way. You'll find yourself remembering why you love your partner,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and see how truly special they are.
Learning how to communicate,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], when viewed through the proper perspective,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], is just a speed bump, one both you, and your partner can effectively handle. Good luck improving your communication skills!
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